How do you contribute to Starr Tincup excellence?

I make things happen -- with witchcraft. However, the only thing you need to be aware of is the magic of websites. It's a real technical brew...

What were you doing before you came to work at ST?

I was going to the principals' office at Holiday Heights Elementary for bending spoons in the cafeteria. They bend back you know...

Why do you like working at ST?

Ping pong. I come here to play some ping pong every day and sometimes they talk me into making websites between games. It's a fair deal.

Who would win in a fight William or Bret?

William's got the kickin' legs (he's a real terror when it comes to crab soccer) but Bret has the slappin' arms (you know, like a pair of wet noodles dangling from your shoulders). So I give the advantage to Bret, because he can spin those things FAST!

If ST were a reality show which one would it be?

Kitchen Nightmares. Don't go in there.

What's the most unusual thing you have ever tossed off the fire escape?

My computer. It was asking too many questions.

Where did you grow up?

North Richland Hills, TX. Well, I grew up there, but I was born in Botswana.

What's your favorite all-time pet?

Yeti.

What song changed your life?

"Let Down" by Radiohead. Wait, that makes me sound depressed or something. Uhh... scratch that, "Party in the U.S.A." by Miley Cyrus.

What is your favorite movie and why?

Batman. Tim Burton's 1989 version with Michael Keaton and Jack Nicholson. Not that George Clooney shit where the bat suit had rubber nipples.

What's your life philosophy?

Have fun. At all costs. Well, maybe not ALL costs. That's how we've lost so many celebrities lately. Havin' a little too much fun with those prescription meds!

Who is your role model?

Batman. But since he may or may not be real (some people think he's fictional, LOL), I would go with the next closest thing to Batman -- me. Egotistical? Maybe... but you gotta be, at least a little bit, to pull off the cape.

What is the stupidest thing you did in school?

Worked hard (enough) and got good grades. Can you say NERD?

What is your favorite marketing cliche?

Web 2.0! Drop shadows, gloss, BIG BUTTONS, YES!!!

Tell us your best celebrity encounter story

One time I met Bret Starr. He came into our office once and then proceeded to slap a co-worker in the face with his noodle arm -- but we were all Starr-struck.

Ugh, sorry about that one...

Fill in the blank... If I were a ____ I would _____.

If I were a real question, I would ask something.